Jeez!

kinda frust today .. 

makan hati dii.. 

Never mind though..

-still counting-

Past story..

Hey guys, how's your day?

Hope everyone in pink!

Kinda blue today, my flu getting worse and it even worse that i can't even feel my 

fingertip.. 

Hate falling sick because i had to eat plain porridge, my flu cause my taste bud "###" ..

Errggh.. can't taste anything..

Anyway, today i received another mail from my friend,

She want me to share about Love or Lust?

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alright then, so where should i start?

Love is an expression which scientifically all human being does need,

it also approved that Love proven occur in every living things..

Love is a big meaning and hard to express it yet we can felt it.

Love in other point is a feeling of to care and cherish , feeling needed and feeling to be care and 

hold.. Love to our family, friends and love one..

"Love" is a feeling that people in this present time, especially youth easily 

misunderstood the meaning of love and lust..

Lust means uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite..

Lets take an example, when you meet a lady which is very attractive and you admired her

because of her appearance, it is normal and no harm would been done but if you think of the 

lady in your mind or think a desire having her then its a different story though..

I'm not quite expert in these matter and i think this more in scientific and logic sense,

If you want to know how to differentiate between Love and Lust, 

honestly, i don't have the answer, its on you hand and its you yourself who can 

figure it out ..

People once say when you love someone, you can felt in the heart when they in trouble 

and when you love someone you would do everything just to be together..

So, i am sorry if i did not answer your quest, 

i have share what i know and now its all up to you ..

Hope my share will at least help you..

I will reply your mail and answer your other quest~!

p/s : God bless you all :)

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Life

Hey guys..

hope all in pink! 

Today one of my friend text me and want me to share with him about Life..

He always find me when he have a good news or bad..

Its good for him to share about his life..

He told me he found this sentence which keep on bother him, 

"PERFECT IS BEAUTIFUL"

well in my point of view, we all want to be perfect,

whether being perfect in front of their love one, family or in front of God's eyes..

No one being create perfect.. God create us equally same..

Maybe some would disagreed with my point..

Perfect isn't mean that you rich, you smart, beautiful, gorgeous and more..

Perfect means that we are good inside and out..

We does not have to be perfect or try to be one..

because in God eyes we always unique and precious..

Even twins are not same, even though that their physical appearance may look the same 

but their character aren't the same..

to be perfect is we accept our inability and our capability.,,

when we accept ourselves we would build self-confident and 

trust to ourselves.. if we keep on looking down to ourselves and assume people surround us are

more perfect than its ourselves who did not have faith and trust for our unique charater..

Many people try to be the best and actually if we truly know ourselves we would realize how amazing we are and how unique we are.. 

When people make laugh to you, just smile to them and told them off..

You are limited edition and one in a million..

To be perfect is to believe yourself and don't look down on your weakness as your inability 

but try to make it right, who knows maybe one day your inability makes you capable to do 

great things in your life :)

Don't try to be perfect but try to be simple because simple is perfect.

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ordinary day ..

Hey guys~

Hahaha.. finally got time to update my blog..

aiyaa bad time for me ow..

sick again.. aiyoo time2 exam lagi tue..

anyway, today i want to share to you all that my teddy will come back to

tawau~ which is this sunday ( 27 nov)..

can't wait to meet him~

hohoho..

My big bro edy come home, dexter!

He called me that he already arrived and that time i was like "WOW"

my best bro pulang suda..

rindu ne sama dia..

Hari ne dia datang rumah, sakit2 nehy turun p jumpa..

dia npak sak sa then cpat2 duduk sbelah, tnya khabar, amcam exam..

well, dia tau yang sa nehy lemah btul sama Math..

pantang kalau jumpa number,

hahaha..

Marah dia ne npak sa sakit..,

di sindir2 terus.. di ceramah tapi i glad he did it..

bila lagi maw kena free marah hahaha..

Then i try to told him bout "teddy'..

soon or later he would know it so better i told him earlier..,

he was shocked and say like this : " Hey athel, belajar dulu, exam 2 paper tu dulu kac fokus, tapi yang pnting budak tue baik and terima keadaan kaw.. Jgan senyum2, sya nasihat ne.." Then i reply: " alaa bro, dia okay bha and tolong dalam study.." He just smiled .. He saw all my medicine and play with it.. 

Then come my eldest brother, mahu jalan lagi dorang,. then dexter just told me to take care of my health and before he left, he mess up my hair and run .. haiyaa, ruin my hair..~

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Well, bout my teddy? Erm early in the morning he called me, he want to know whether i'm fine or not..

my bro, Ugendran also sick too alaa but he even more worse than me but lucky him got his precious girl to takecare of him..

"Teddy" quite busy today..huu but lucky he did't forgot to text me..

He and his friends macam biasa jalan2 d bandar..,

waa., because my condition still not so well, he want me to rest,

so i did as told.. Then suddenly my dearest friend, thompson text me, saying that he had problem and 

want to meet me on this sunday..

He is a good friend of mine, even though he's a guy but he know how to

appreciate a friend..

Then julian text me! My bestie~ Haha.. He know i was sick and barely able to speak or utter a word ..

he accompany me .. asking bout my study and health.. its a relieved having friend when we are in trouble..

anyway, back bout my teddy,  he and his friends at i-city.. don't know laa why he did't text me..

but it doesn't matter laa.. no big deal..

He just probably try to enjoy himself .. stress out..

Now i'm just counting down the day .. day that he would come back here and all would be just fine..

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dats all for today .. p/s: God bless you all :)

SPM??!!

Hey guys..,

huu, SPM candidates? How was ur day ?

can answer well or not?

Hope u all did it well,

2 more exam to go then i'm free from this horrible examination,

waa, luckily i got friends to east my burden.,

Ugendran, Edi, Sr.Liza, Lyta, Julian, and all my family support me..

Cayoox2 for all science stream students,

do your best in biology and chemistry,

while for my class, for all science social students, get ready all ur bullets and guns

for our next enemy.. 

i.) economy

ii.) Ert

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no so tough but still need to strike for A..,

for my buddy thompson, hang on there,

don't stress and panic!

i know u can do it~

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 during SPM,

really don't have time to rest and sleep enough time,

run out meds,

aiyaa, but its okay though, still can live and get an opportunity to get education 

is more than enough..

hehehe, can't wait to finish my exam.,,

huuuu...

after spm, help lil' sis ( allynor) 

at her dad food court,

maybe part time there.

maybe, ..

 alaaa, still early for all that.,,

first thing first..,

that's all.. 

p/s : God bless you all~

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love one another..

Shallom,

another day goes by,

i started to realize how things worked out,

God create human being to love one another, to share things together, 

to make the world a better place, and is our duty to make it true.

Everyone has their own weaknesses,

and i admit i do have my own weaknesses..

I admit sometimes i judge people without knowing their true story, 

when we judge people, we would mock,laugh at them and would also spread the 

rumour that we heard to other people without knowing whether its true or false,

that's what we usual do, practice, learn, know and live with..

a sin that as small as a tiny dust that turns into sand..

Maybe we think the person bad because people say they bad, 

maybe we would think the person dumb because people say it,

and we would assume a nice people like angel cos they done so much great things, 

but why we judge people?

We would hate or mad if people say bad things on our back, 

but before we did it, try think or remember back things that we have done before,

did we ever done the same thing?

did we ever try to do it?

did we try seduce our friends to join do it?

Some would say they just say things that was true or its a fact,

are you sure?

how do you know?

do you know from someone that told u that?

or you assume its true?

or did the person that u judge told u the real story?

Maybe yes, maybe no..

Let say u serve in the church,

u join the altar server, join the choir, join become a reader, become a teacher 

and so on, but you also practice 10 sinful sin~

how's that suppose to mean?

you want to balance you bad and good?

good people do also make a mistakes,

but is it accidental sin or u know its wrong but you still do it?

because its fun to see people hurt?

love to see people being humiliated?

its a pleasure to see the person hurt and eventually suicide?

Tongue more poison than venom,

tongue more sharp than a sword,

even a tongue can stop a heartbeat..

isn't that a sin to talk at people's back?

isn't that a sin to make a person cry,

isn't that a sin when people want to change but u turn them of because of their past?

isn't that a sin when a person did not hurt you but u did it?

isn't that a sin when we JUDGE people?

Everyone would try to avoid themselves when we being ask if we ever judge a person,

everyone would start accusing one another, 

trying to be an innocent in front of God's eye..

Its useless if we going to church everyday but we practice sins in our daily life,

i admit that i did not go to the church already for few weeks,

still thinking of what Sr.Liza had told me,

i still not ready yet to go to the House of God (church),

luckily Sr. Liza here for me..,

her advise mean so much for me..

 i miss borders ..

i miss a lot the memory that i have there,

things did not work out very well in my family but Sr.Liza always there 

to become my good listener, become my good companion..

Anyway, as i share for you today, things that we have in our life, we should appreciate it,

don't misjudge others if we did not want people to do the same to us nor our family,

God once say, if you judge people, in heaven HE would judge you as the way u judge 

people during your lifetime..

Love one another, don't ruined someone life by judging them because one careless mistakes, you never 

know that you just end someones life.

p/s: God bless you all :)

FrUst!!!!

Hey guys~ 

Sorry did't update my blog this few weeks~

Busy for SPM~

Anyway, as u all can see the title "FRUST"..

Well, im kinda dissapointed with my best friend..

Whom i really adore~ 

I think its better if i did't mention her name~

U know why?

Da 2nd day of my most important exams,

i decided to move out from the borders which i stays 

to make me easier went to school cos its near..

I got some issues with my friends back at borders..

Actually we were fine, had no problem~

but i think God gve a chance to see how's world like~

There's a night, when i feel tired after studying,

i went to bed early,

there i overheard them talking bout me~

Maybe other ppl point of view would say : "Hey girl, chill out, its normal~! Don't take it hard on you.. That's just girls talks" ... First i just ignored wat they talk and kept the anger beneath me~

Unfortunately.., there's one night that i really can't stand with them~

Gosh~! They were like a pain in my neck!

There i try be nice on them~ I meet Sr. Liza and Sr.Marysia for counselling~

They asked me to be patient.. and so i did it..

I were like : "Hey natalie, how long u want to keep on silent!? They did't like you here!"

I called my bro and asked for advise, he told me to move out from the borders bcoz his afraid that im stressing out and would affect my study..and it would trouble my friends,.. The last thing that i did't want to do is trouble my friend..mostly for her, bcos she already did good things for me.. Which makes me really happy having her by my side.. but now everything turns upside down.. 

I just pretend that i never heard them talk behind me and that really hurt me badly..

Then my mum called me, she said that my brother told her everything and she asked me whether i want to move out..

I did't say no nor yes~

I just turn off my phone~

Whole day i kept silents and keep on thinking what should i do~\

Then i said to myself: "Hey nath! Its just a small matter, don't think it too much, chill out or you'll get a headache and ur asthma would come!"

Then i heard from one of them that they actually did't like me..

What's wrong with me??

Why u all hate me?

did i done something wrong?

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The Next day ( The day i moved out)

after exam, we went back to borders.., when we lunch together, they both were silent~

maybe they tired~ 

So i ignored them~

After washing my clothes, i went to the study room to take my book and study in the bedroom, they still gve a silent treatment.. "When i'm trying to gve them a paper which our history teacher gve us to copy..

they did't manage to get one..

before i start a conversation, they talked to each other.. they asking their other friends to gve them the notes that the teacher gve us.. 

I tot they already hve so i walked out from the study room and there was a loud laugh and it was from them..

I just ignored them, doing my own things..

then my brother call, he asked me to move out the borders immediately..

I said i did't want to but he said it was for my own good~

We had a huge fight and tears drop down my cheeks..

i gve up~ I decided to follow my brothers advise.. both my brothers said they will asked mum to pick me up at six~

before i manage to talk, my roommate enters the room.. she wants to sleep,

i then quickly walk out from the room~ went to the study room ( empty).. pack all my books..

clean up my table and call Sr Liza to asked her permission to leave the borders..

She called me said that she kinda busy, she'll meet me at 4~ so i wait her..

while waiting her.. im trying to figure out how i would say to my friends but when i heard their laughter,

it was obvious they were happy and better off without me~

Then Sr. Liza called me, asked me to meet her..

there i goes, she asked me what's wrong.. but before i could say, i cry in front of her..

all i could do is cry that time and she try to comfort me,

at first she tot i was sick, then she realize that i was hurt once again and she knew this time can't able to 

cover it any longer..

I pour everything to her and after i finished, she really sorry and kinda dissapointed because i did't told her the truth before..

She asked me to consider it but i said no~

She then advise me to stay focus on my study and i can come visit them everytime..

She then hug me and that was the hug that warm my heart and cure the wound that i bare all this time~

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I then went back to my room and pack all my things~

While i waiting for my mum, i meet Kak Yan, aunt mag and wana to say goodbye..

Hard for me to say but i glad i did it~

my mum come and we took all the bags and before i close the door, i could heard them laughing~

i close the door and walk away~